JMStanton Society, Women, and Change
We are part of a patriarchal society that says men are better and more powerful than women. This is a structural problem with the way our society has been set up from the beginning. It is also an individual problem in the way the gender disparities affect women on a day to day basis that alters the way we feel about ourselves and interact with others. This falls under Karl Marx’s conflict theory of gender in relation to power. Inequality is the result of a social system that stacks the deck in favor of those with wealth and power. Those with the wealth and power typically are white men.
Women have been sexualized, objectified, and dehumanized on a daily basis for centuries. Women are underrepresented across the board from tv and music to the government and boardrooms. In fact, over 30% of the films created in 2016 failed the Bechdel test where a film has “at least two or more women characters who have names and talk to one another about something other than men.” (Kidd)
Women have been oppressed and fighting against male privilege. And with the recent events of the #metoo movement, Dr. Blessey-Ford testifying against Judge Kavanaugh, President Trump’s, well, everything, women are finally starting to stand up, push back, and claim their power. We have much to overcome due to gender inequality and unrealistic social norms.
If, according to pop culture, we are what we consume, then what does it say that majority of tv, media, and music churn out sexist, misogynistic crap? What if we changed that? What if there were women out there that stood for compassion, respect, hard work, and courage? How would women feel? What would happen if women consumed uplifting, feminist, groundbreaking content that told us that we are worthy just as we are? That we are more than enough? How would that change us and how would it impact our society if women got rid of the shame and guilt and felt empowered on a daily basis?
My Playlist:
1Rachel Hollis; Taking Control of your Life: https://www.facebook.com/TheChicSite/videos/395565254310632/
2 Rachel Hollis Rise podcast; How to get past other people’s opinions
3Brene Brown Vulnerability Ted Talk:
4Brene Brown Shame Ted Talk:
5Rachel Hollis Rise podcast; The Lie: I Am Not Enough
Take Control of Your Life: We’re told that there’s nothing we can do to disrupt the status quo. Women are taught helplessness. This leads to a lack of autonomy and control over our lives. We believe things that tell us that if we mess up then we might as well give up entirely. That’s where Rachel Hollis comes in. She shows women how to take back control. She gives tangible, uplifting information that makes women realize that we are enough. She tells us that we are worthy just as we are. She teaches us ways to be intentional in our lives so that we don’t fall for the crap society, family, and friends throws at us.
“Believe that you’re worth it. Believe that you can. Believe that you’re capable of
whatever you set your mind to. Ask yourself, how would the best version of me
live out this day? Success is about choosing between what you want now and what
you want most. If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”(Hollis)
whatever you set your mind to. Ask yourself, how would the best version of me
live out this day? Success is about choosing between what you want now and what
you want most. If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”
How to Get Past Other People’s Opinions: Women are taught to be worried about what others think of them. i.e.: Don’t do that! What will people think? We are taught that other people’s opinions, and society’s opinions matter more than what we think and feel about ourselves. We are shamed for wanting more for ourselves. But Rachel Hollis tells us that other people’s opinions of us are none of our business. We end up using it as an excuse as to why we can’t get where we want to go in life. Other people’s opinions are just another way for women to be oppressed and feel afraid to want more. We need to change the way we react to people and society. Women need to have a “plan of attack for when it happens.” (Hollis, How to Get Past Other Peoples Opinions) She tells us that we do not need other people’s validation for anything we do. If we do things to please others, then we are doing it for the wrong reasons.
The Power of Vulnerability: We are fed this lie that life isn’t supposed to be messy. Life is unrealistically portrayed as a romance novel, romantic comedy, or Disney movie. Capitalism and society want to label everything and put it into a nice neat box that shows people who and what they need to be. In reality, life is a roller coaster. As we become a society that is more individualistic, Brown reminds us that connection is “what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” (Brown) As she researched connection, she found that when she asked people “about connection, the stories they told…were about disconnection.” (Brown) She learned that the one thing that “unraveled connection” was shame. “Shame is…understood…as the fear of disconnection.” (Brown) After interviewing thousands of people, she found that it comes down to worthiness. Those with “a sense of worthiness…have a strong sense of love and belonging…The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection.” (Brown) Everyone that felt love, belonging, and worthiness also embraced vulnerability, “the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.” (Brown)
As “the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history, (Brown) we have been told that emotions aren’t good and that we should only exude positivity and happiness. But that’s unrealistic. In order to fully experience life, we need to navigate the ups and the downs. You can’t have one without the other.
Listening to Shame: We are told that vulnerability is synonymous with weakness. Women are called the weaker sex. We grow up being shamed and guilted for everything that makes us women. “Shame is highly…correlated with addiction, depression…bullying, suicide, eating disorders…Guilt is inversely correlated with those things...For women, shame is, do it all perfectly and never let them see you sweat” (Brown, Listening to Shame) In order to break free from that, we need to shine the light on shame. Shame can’t survive under the spotlight. Everyone struggles. We aren’t inherently less because we struggle.
The Lie: I Am Not Enough: Structurally this lie comes from society. Media constantly bombards us with messages that say we are never going to be pretty enough, thin enough, or smart enough. Personally, we can get this message from family and friends. This ties into Brene Brown’s shame, guilt, and vulnerability. Women are pushed so hard to have it all, do it all, and be everything to everyone. When we try to do that, we suffer enormously. Our bodies can not sustain the pressure. Something has to give. This is where we need to change our mindset and give ourselves a little grace. Once women accomplish this as a collective, our social norms will begin to change
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